Newest baby gadgets and some old ones I can't live without...
1. Breast Milk Alcohol Testing sticks...Made by Milkscreen, 6.95 USD, comes with 2-3 sticks (depending on if you get the "try me free" box.) Instead of "pumping and dumping," you can pump and stick one of these baby's in there and it will let you know if there is too much alcohol in your milk. Very cool. Found it at Babies R Us, and heard about them from the lactation consultant.
2. Any JujuBe baby bag. I find them to be a little heavy, but I have 3 now... and they are pretty much indestructable. The compartments are perfect. And most of them come with stroller clips. Also, you won't find every mom out there with the same brand... like, er... Petunia Pickle Bottom. (cute, but too trendy).
3. Backpacks by DadGear. They have a built in wipes container on the bottom, lightweight and lots of easy to get to compartments.
4. The Boppy Pillow. Best thing ever, support when feeding, or holding and newborns' tummy time, naptime and many other things as the baby grows up... just buy lots of covers for yours!
5. MacLaren Strollers, lightweight, comfy UK made, umbrella strollers- shell out the 180 USD for this thing, because they weigh next to nothing, recline nicely for a napping kid and look great. Also, easy to clean, and they handle like a dream.
6. Joovy Ultralight Caboose. This is for peeps with more than one kid. The Ultralight Caboose is for two kids, and it has a bench on the back for your older walking kid to stand on, and then there is a seat in the front that hold your baby carrier. It's lightweight, folds very flat and has a neoprene parents caddy for your weed.
Butthole Awards: Yes, this complete stranger has won a butthole award. She is such a butthole, that I created an award just for her. So, the family and I are walking out of the parking lot at Target a coupled days before Christmas. First off, let me tell you, that I am not, by any means a mom that scoffs at the expensive baby stuff. In fact, I like the expensive baby stuff because I know it works the best. It just depends on what you are buying.. for instance, shoes. I am cool with an infant wearing Vans, or any other kind of shoe label... if it matches an outfit or something. But, I am not opposed to Target and Payless Shoes more often, because for practical purposes babies and toddlers go through shoes about once a month or so. I am digressing once again.
Anyway, here is this lady, with some botox lips, a boob job, perfect salon painted skin, 600 dollar Dior glasses, and pushing a Bugaboo Stroller (for those of you who don't know, this is an 800-1000 dollar stroller), with her Petunia Pickle Bottom Bag. Both Her Douchness and her baby had Juicy clothes on and this blanket (I can't remember the brand, but we have one- anyway it's a 50 dollar Baby Blanket) with this Babies R Us Employee behind her, pushing a cart with a small package of newborn Pampers and a small bottle of Dreft. The Designer Mom Asshole, looked lost because she probably couldn't find her Hummer in the parking lot because her 600 Dior Glasses and her botox lips were obstructing her vision. The employee was pushing the cart, and looked like they had been pushing it awhile, because she looked wrecked. The asshole kept looking around, and looking around... and thought it was kind of funny that she couldn't find her gigantic car. I didn't bother to keep looking because it just made my blood boil.
Why? You ask did this piss me off? I feel like if you are going to carry the mom card, you should be a little tougher than this ballerina-necked designer bimbo who can't fit a damn tiny bottle of Dreft in the useless basket of her 1000 dollar stroller, so you have someone else slave away and push your crap around for you and look like an even bigger asshole in the process. Then, while you are doing it, be so fucking stupid that you can't find your semi-truck car in a fairly small parking lot, besides what's the point when you are going home to your nanny anyway, so you can go back to the spa and say what a hard job being a mom is.
Yeah. That's why.
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