I am OFFICIALLY...

a stay at home mom!  Yay!  I am doing the travel biz thing at night and working out of my loft...and Barnes and Noble when I feel too cooped up.

Great things about my new job?

1.  Pyjama Uniform!

2.  Food on hand.

3.  Get to hang with my Mumbles & my Munkers.

4.  The Chiller channel.

Goin' To The Motherland...

We are travelin' again.  Going to the Philippines from January 28-February 21... the girls are going to meet my Lolo & Lola, we will get some well-deserved R & R.  Here is our flight itinerary:

Depart LAX for an 8 hour layover in Taipei, then go to Manila.  The flight is about 11 hours from LAX to Taiwan and then 3 hours to Manila.  I chose the long layover... because I thought we could get the kids out and stretch out for a bit.  We are very excited and started the packing process. Any suggestions for long trips?  I am against baby Benadryl thing... only because it seems a bit dangerous.  I am hoping the girls are like me and the minute the cabin is pressurized they will knock out.  But who knows?

Anyway, I think we have made the concious decision that travel is always going to be in our family lifestyle.  We will just have to make it so-  not get that extra TV or have two cars and we will go on one or two big trips a year, depending on how much time Papa can get off.  

Here is what we are packing in our new Dadgear Baby Backpack...

20 diapers for Memmy

15 Diapers for MP

A big Package of Wipes

Sunscreen

tissue

diaper rash cream

first aid kit

Mama's Twilight Book

Mama's Dexter Book

Cash

Passports

a pair of pajamas for each girl

matching purple velour outfits for the girls

hair ties for me and MP

Formula

Bag of toiletries

crayons

small books

object cards

mirror

coloring books

hooter hider

lanolin

three disposable bottles

extra nipple

bottle liner

in papa's back pack:

DVD Player

Ipod

Camera

I am writing an article about travel with young babies and young children.  This seems to be the best forum for it since most people who read it either have kids or are expecting kids.  I started to pitch it because i haven't seen any articles, even on the internets.  So, I will be reporting on what kind of formula, diapers and stuff you should bring and what stuff to leave behind.  Anyway, hope all is well with everyone.  

Baby Gear and The Buttholes Who Use Them

That title, actually tells people that I am a butthole.  Read on, and you will see what I mean. 

Newest baby gadgets and some old ones I can't live without...

1.  Breast Milk Alcohol Testing sticks...Made by Milkscreen, 6.95 USD, comes with 2-3 sticks (depending on if you get the "try me free" box.)  Instead of "pumping and dumping," you can pump and stick one of these baby's in there and it will let you know if there is too much alcohol in your milk.  Very cool.  Found it at Babies R Us, and heard about them from the lactation consultant.

2.  Any JujuBe baby bag.  I find them to be a little heavy, but I have 3 now... and they are pretty much indestructable.  The compartments are perfect.  And most of them come with stroller clips.  Also, you won't find every mom out there with the same brand... like, er... Petunia Pickle Bottom.  (cute, but too trendy).

3.  Backpacks by DadGear.  They have a built in wipes container on the bottom, lightweight and lots of easy to get to compartments.

4.  The Boppy Pillow.  Best thing ever, support when feeding, or holding and newborns' tummy time, naptime and many other things as the baby grows up... just buy lots of covers for yours!

5.  MacLaren Strollers, lightweight, comfy UK made, umbrella strollers- shell out the 180 USD for this thing, because they weigh next to nothing, recline nicely for a napping kid and look great.  Also, easy to clean, and they handle like a dream.

6.  Joovy Ultralight Caboose.  This is for peeps with more than one kid.  The Ultralight Caboose is for two kids, and it has a bench on the back for your older walking kid to stand on, and then there is a seat in the front that hold your baby carrier.  It's lightweight, folds very flat and has a neoprene parents caddy for your weed.  

Butthole Awards:  Yes, this complete stranger has won a butthole award.  She is such a butthole, that I created an award just for her.  So, the family and I are walking out of the parking lot at Target a coupled days before Christmas.  First off, let me tell you, that I am not, by any means a mom that scoffs at the expensive baby stuff.  In fact, I like the expensive baby stuff because I know it works the best.  It just depends on what you are buying.. for instance, shoes.  I am cool with an infant wearing Vans, or any other kind of shoe label... if it matches an outfit or something.  But, I am not opposed to Target and Payless Shoes more often, because for practical purposes babies and toddlers go through shoes about once a month or so.  I am digressing once again.  

Anyway, here is this lady, with some botox lips, a boob job, perfect salon painted skin, 600 dollar Dior glasses, and pushing a Bugaboo Stroller (for those of you who don't know, this is an 800-1000 dollar stroller), with her Petunia Pickle Bottom Bag. Both Her Douchness and her baby had Juicy clothes on and this blanket (I can't remember the brand, but we have one- anyway it's a 50 dollar Baby Blanket) with this Babies R Us Employee behind her, pushing a cart with a small package of newborn Pampers and a small bottle of Dreft.  The Designer Mom Asshole, looked lost because she probably couldn't find her Hummer in the parking lot because her 600 Dior Glasses and her botox lips were obstructing her vision.  The employee was pushing the cart, and looked like they had been pushing it awhile, because she looked wrecked.  The asshole kept looking around, and looking around... and thought it was kind of funny that she couldn't find her gigantic car.  I didn't bother to keep looking because it just made my blood boil.  

Why? You ask did this piss me off?  I feel like if you are going to carry the mom card, you should be a little tougher than this ballerina-necked designer bimbo who can't fit a damn tiny bottle of Dreft in the useless basket of her 1000 dollar stroller, so you have someone else slave away and push your crap around for you and look like an even bigger asshole in the process. Then, while you are doing it, be so fucking stupid that you can't find your semi-truck car in a fairly small parking lot, besides what's the point when you are going home to your nanny anyway, so you can go back to the spa and say what a hard job being a mom is.  

Yeah.  That's why.     

True Love.

The Christmas Photo Shoot...

Let me take a break now, from travel agent stuff to tell you about our photo shoot at JCPenney.  The day was going great, Memmy was 2 1/2 weeks old, MP was in fine form that day.  First off, the photo shoot we originally scheduled was on Saturday at about 11:00am.  We got up at 7am and realized we would be late around 9am.  Yep.  2 hours.  2 hours to get ready.  Not for a new parenting couple of two kids.  8:30am First off, I had two outfits for the girls all picked out.  They were these little Fall School Girl style outfits that were immediately shut down by Papa.  Correction, Papa shut down MP's outift, so I had to find a new outfit for Memmy too.  This sets us back a good ten minutes.  8:40 Memmy gets hungry.  Whip out the boobies- 15 mins left, 15 mins right, burp 5 minutes.  9:15 Find new outfits for the girls. 9:23 Papa takes a shower while we wait and play, hold Memmy and change her into her outfit. 9:33 Papa gets out of the shower, gets ready.  I change MP. 9:55am we decide we want to take a wardrobe change for the pics, in their Christmas pyjamas, I have to repack the baby bag of plenty and put even more inside it.  10:05am Memmy gets hungry.  I call and cancel the appointment.  But I reschedule it for the following day... and we repeat this process once again.

Fast Forward to Sunday at 3pm at the JCPenney Portrait Studio.  MP has this new thing where she says, :Mine! Mine! Mine!  Over everything she sees that she would like to claim ownership to.  Only, it sounds more like she is saying... MYNA! MYNA! MYNA!   She does it to waitresses in restaurants, she does it to kids...  she does it to Poppy.  

The portrait studio play area had Finding Nemo playing there, and her favorite wooden toy thing.  So, as she sees other kids playing with it she starts her yelling... "MYNA! MYNA! MYNA!"  We divert her attention with Nemo, and then she sees kids with lollipops.

MYNA!

We walk her around the studio to look at the rooms with kids taking pictures.

MYNA!

At this point, we realize, Memmy is hungry, and MP is hungry and if we don't remedy this in a few minutes we were going to have, a disaster.  I wasn't even thinking about how the photos were going to turn out, much less the scheduling anymore... we just had to get food in these kids.  Memmy was easy, whip out a bottle of formula, and insert.  Now MP was a little different, getting a two year old to eat when she is having a tantrum, is well... impossible.  Now, for those of you who don't have kids... you can't help it, you just forget that two hours goes by so quickly and it creeps up on you.

So, the lady calls us up for our pictures Memmy is still having her formula and MP is crying.  She calms down for pictures with tears streaming down her face.  But they manage to capture some cute pics.