Thankful for...

After losing Lolo Ben last week, our week has been a little upside down. It's Thanksgiving week and I am thankful for a few things: 1. My WONDERFUL family. I love that my girls and husband are gifted, healthy, and just all around great people. I love them more than anything. 2. Roof over our heads 3. The rest of our family... and for having me get this far in life. I will have pics soon, and there will be pictures. Many, many pictures. In the meantime, enjoy yourselves and let's take care of each other.

Love You, Lolo Ben.

Info about Lolo Ben

more info on him...

Today I feel like a scared little girl. Now that Lolo is gone from where I can see him, I have to grow up. This fear will pass, I know. Loben (as Myla called him) and Lola have blessed me with the gift of strength and practicality, knowing that life is always made of change. We can't avoid this stuff, so we might as well meet with it -head on, guns a-blazing.

On my yearly visit, when it came time to say goodbye, Lolo always ended our trips the same way. One of the last things Lolo always said to me, was, "You know I hate long, emotional goodbyes. Just kiss me on the cheek and know you will see me again." And I didn't dare look back at him, until I knew I was out of his sight. I always felt a little bit stronger every time I did it. One time, I looked, and he was looking too, with wet eyes, and I pretended not to see. Even though, in the back of my mind, I knew one day, this would come.

(deleted letters to family members)

I wanted to write something profound and exquisite about a great soldier, journalist, a great mentor, editor-in-chief, boss, and writer. I wanted to write an epic story with special effects and CGI, and fireworks and a 21 gun salute, and a procession and parade and LARGE headlines, and a day of mourning and a holiday, but this isn't how I feel.

Instead, my heart is heavier than it ever has been my whole life. I have cried some quiet tears, while I think about him. I think about our talks about life, and love, and work, school, politics, and the mornings when he got ready for work and we listened to Botticelli and Pavarotti. I think about soft bread and butter and coffee and piles of pineapple that made our lips itch. And anything he saved in a napkin from a luncheon he had the previous day. Im thinking of fried eggs for breakfast and how I ate the yokes and he ate the whites, and our egg system: if he got there first he'd leave the yolks for me, if I got there first, I would do the oppsosite- eat the yolks and save the whites. I think of his uncanny ability to make me laugh in the face of adversity, and to never be afraid of people. Also he taught me to depend on other people for something either.

I never told you about the one time, at the airport, I DID look back, Lola was crying, and Lolo had tears in his eyes, (although he told me later that it was allergies.) And one of the very last things he told me (besides jokes about everything) on our last visit, (he was sick and I looked worried)

"Never mind, it's all part of life. Can't change that, I just don't want to be ugly and drooling on a rocking chair like some of those old people you see. Just shoot me instead." And we shared a laugh over it. I'm glad, my dearest Lolo, you are the handsomest, non-drooling Lolo in the face of the earth, and I will never forget you. Thank you so much.


Love to you all,

Melissa, Andy, Myla & Emily


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http://www.balitapinoy.net/journal/599238/EXEDITOR_OF_MANILA_BULLETIN_DIES

When Girls are A Napping, It's Time for A Blogging...

Here are the girls when we roll Pedro's windows down... it's hilarious.

Growing, growing, growing... as they should be. The thing that astounds me about Myles is the things she says to show how cognitive and intuitive she is to her surroundings. Which, proves my point that you shouldn't ever underestimate the intelligence of any child, and dismiss them as "just kids." We watched Harry Potter (1st One) and she seemed to understand everything that was going on, (including the fact that Harry's parents died and that sucks for a kid.) Also, we just watched Kitt Kittridge and she cried when her Dad left for Chicago. So, me n myles can watch a good movie together and have a cry. She's only 2! =) Also, for those of you who haven't been to our apartment, the master bedroom window looks down on any passers by coming and or going to our house. So, if you leave our house and head towards your car, you can see through our window heading towards the parking lot. Myles LOVES this. Like a cat. So, the other day, after my dad and sister left, she screamed, "Bye! Bye! You be careful down there! Love you!" Like an old lady. It was HILARIOUS.

And Memmy... oh where do I begin with Memmy? We like to call her, Destructo, or our little Raccoon. Because more than likely, you'll see her little butt sticking out as she rummages through something she is not supposed to. Since, both my girls walked at such an early age, I really feel like I missed out on some 3-4 good months of baby time. Where they snuzzle with you, and sit on your lap, and you can put them on a blanket on the floor while reading or doing somehing peaceful.

But, no at 9 & 10 months, I was and have been a nervous wreck. Mems, seems to be the naughtier of the two... today for instance, I opened our "I Love Lucy" washing machine (it's a front loader, and low to the ground) and ran into our room to grab the dirty clothes. Then I hear, "Mama! Mama! Em-UH-LEEE went IN there!!" and I run out, sure enough, Emms had placed herself in the washer, with the cylinder sort of moving as she did... door open of course, and she was pretty pissed at the fact that she had gotten herself in the predicament. She was stuck. I wanted so badly to get a picture, but she is very sensitive about being embarrassed. So I pulled her out and scolded her, and she smiled her Damian smile. She ALWAYS does this when she knows she did something she wasn't supposed to. She doesn't fuss or scream when you pull her out of something... she just sits very still and looks at you... with the smile.
(Ring in dramatic Omen Music...)
Sanguis bibimus
Corpus edibus
Rolle corpus
Satani, Satani, Satani
Ave, ave Satani

After the washer incident, I pulled her hands out of both out toilets (no more if it's yellow it's mellow! Sorry water shortage!) and pulled her out of the fireplace at least three times, wrestled her off the stairs and also kept her from spraying some 409 in her face. YIPES! Baby proofing the house... she will always find a way...

Halloween was cool.

Myles is truly understanding the whole trick or treating thing, and truly understanding the candy thing. She was Darth Vader and all the storm troopers and Clone troopers on the block were bowing to her. (Haaa!) She enjoyed that. Darth Vader and Myla is a whole other post, as we know the ongoing saga with those two. We went to the pumpkin drop, Myles has been going to them her WHOLE life, as Emmy has as well. This year, two pumpkins were dropped. Please ask Myla to tell you about it next time you see her.

Emmy was an ADORABLE Yoda, and she was hot a lot, but she loved just being a part of it all.

For Papa, it's still the same ol' grind at Elsevier... which as much as he complains, I know he loves. He got a window seat where he can see Coronado and is moving from floor 20 to 17... kinda excited about the move... =) We will visit and post on that.

I have been taking writing classes at UCSD Extension on Saturday mornings. It gets my head together and helps with the creative juices that make me grouchy if I don't release them.
Also, I have started part-time seasonal employment at Build A Bear... working from my friend LG! It's fun, it's retail, it pays shit, but now we can have a Christmas!! =) I'm sure I won't see anything I haven't seen before working with all the moronic customers out there.

And, Papa and I have joined a Martial Arts school so now, I can kill someone with the "Killer Fist" really. Also, I learned how to chop a corroted artery, but I haven't learned how to spell it. So, when we get in shape and train how to kill zombies with weapons with out bear hands, we will be ready.

Til next time...
Peace!