Doing things By the Book and Thanksgiving.

This is an old picture that I love.
I don't mean, doing things by the book during Thanksgiving. I have two different topics I would like to discuss. It's great, because I have a shitload of work, and instead of doing it I will release my thought onto this blog that have nothing to do whatsoever about inventory sheets, or student packages.
Okay, so you know parenting these days has an abundance of literature and resources for just about everything under the sun. You can read how to teach your children on tying their shoelaces, disciplining, feeding etc etc. I have tried my hardest to do things the way "the pediatricians" say to do it. Just today, as MP is one the 5th day of her second month, I realize I am gonna be killing myself slowly if I do EVERYTHING the peditaricians say. I mean damn, how did I and my two sibling survive sleeping on our bellies? Or I can't believe I don't have a flat head from laying on my back as a baby all the time, or why didn't my mom brush my ONE tooth when it first popped out and why did I not get periodontal disease as an infant? Because if it were up to the American Association of Pediatric Dentists, all parents should brush their kids teeth until they are NINE years old, and moms should breast feed until they are 4! Also, we are supposed to floss our teeth every time we brush our teeth- which should take at least a good ten minutes according to "them." So, I have broken down the day if we do it according to the experts:

5am-520- wake up. Look at MP, and turn her on her back if she is on her belly so as to avoid SIDS, and her choking on her own spit. Change her diaper, put diaper rash cream on her to avoid diaper rash.
520-6am Put her in the crib while I wash my hands with soap because I just changed her diaper. Brush my teeth (10 minutes), floss, wash my face, exfoliate, put sunscreen on if I am going out as to avoid skin cancer, wrinkling, E Coli and Gingivitis.
6am-7am feed her (breast feed) if I am not, make sure my hands are washed and cleaned in order to prepare her formula. Make sure there are iron supplements in her formula and or rice cereal. But make sure she has something fiber-ey because iron will constipate her.
7am-Change her diaper again, because she might get a diaper rash, give her water so she doesn't get dehydrated because she is starting solids and those starchy carrots and sweet potatoes will surely suck all the moisture out of her.
720 lay her on the floor to get excercise on a well vacumed floor so she avoids allergens and any small items so she won't choke. Make sure there aren't any balloons, plastic bags, a draft, stuffed animals with small fur, unsupervised dogs, cats, fish, frogs, bleach, cleaning supplies, lotions, powder, water deeper than one inch, hot water, or any other woodland creatures that might carry rabies. Allow her to crawl a little bit but not too far because there are shelves with heavy items that could fall on her if there was an earthquake or if for some reason she miraculously walked across the room and pulled herself up. Oh, I can't forget the electrical outlets and open doors, cabinets and stairs without safety gates, pools and Carbon monoxide poisoning and any or all of those things put together and you have a very unsafe baby.
It is now 9am- I have made sure MP is hovering in the air with my magic wand. Wingardium Leviosa. It went on like that. If you want more of this, I am sure I can whip something up.

Anyway, I was talking to Kimay the other day... what are you all bringing to Thanksgiving? When do we start bringing things to Thanksgiving? Because one day in the future, we won't be the kids and there will be no food! Just a thought. A scary thought.