It's that time of year again, when parents who are already crazy become even more crazy. It's move in time. For those of you who don't know, I work in a college Residential Life Office, which is where your kids go when they live in the Res Halls or the older term, "dorms." Every year, we go to seminars about "helicopter parents" (the ones that hover over their kids constantly, every year they get worse and worse. What makes it worse is that a lot of the kids (not all) LOVE the fact that their parents hover over them. Basically, we are teaching the next generation of kids to be douchebags, thumb-sucking, dependent-on-their-mommys-douchebags. Please see my friend Hugh's Blog about this.
These are actual conversations I have had with parents on the phone.
Me:
Muir Residential Life, this is Melissa how can I help you?
Mom: I have a problem with you.
Me: What?
Mom: I have a problem with you, and your office...
Me: Okay...
Mom: Our last name is Lamothe. But it has a capital M, not L-a-m-o-t-h-e like you have it spelled. It's L-a-CAPITAL M-o-t-h-e. It's FRENCH.
Me: Okay...
Mom: I have already filed a grievance with your regristars' office... and I expect it to be fixed in 2 days time. (Slams the phone down as hard as it can slam.)
What sort of a stupid, dumb-fuck shallow bitch of a miserable excuse for a human being is this? Who cares? Do you really think, out of my busy-ass day I am going to care about the capital M in your name, especially after you speak to me like a degenerate ass-fuck and that the FRENCH even want you to represent them? haha. I haven't fixed it.
Conversation 2.
Me: Muir Res Life
Mom 2: HALLO??
Me: Hello?
Mom 2: Hello? Can my son bring tea bag?
Me: What?
Mom 2: Can my son, make tea?
Me: I don't understand the question. I don't know if he can make tea.
Mom 2: Can he make tea in the dorms?
Me: Oh... I don't see why not...
Mom 2: He has tea bags!
Me: Okay... there are microwaves in the lounges
Mom 2: Microwaves EXPLODE!
Me: Yes, they can... if used improperly.
Mom 2: I am going to send him with a hot water maker.
Me: Okay.
Mom 2: Should I send a rice cooker too? HE WON'T MAKE RICE!
Me: uhhh...
Mom 2: It's to boil more water! Tea is good with boiled water! Microwave explode!
Me: He probably only needs one or the other. I would say the water boiler would be best.
Mom 2: But he drink a LOT of tea. He can't do studies without tea.
Me: Okay.
Mom 2: He drink a lot.
Me: is there anything else I can help you with?
Mom 2: Nah, have a good day.
All I have to say is, if this guy gets more mothering from his mother it will be more than tea bagging he will be doing in college. I'm just saying.
5 comments:
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!! BAHAHAHAHA!!! Parents are such a$$holes sometimes!
I totally feel for you!
I work with some snotty, high-end, diva clients who don't know their asses from their elbows.
I actually just got into it with a woman who was allowing her little girl to jump all over my leather office furniture. She actually had the balls to tell me "Well, if it's bothering you so much, YOU tell her to stop." Um...bitch....get up off of your Gucci-wearing, Prada bag-carrying, holier-than-thou kept-woman ass and discipline your goddamned kid.
I weep for these little crack addicts in-the-making.
I feel your pain, babe. I really
I don't know how you do it. I hate dealing with fucking people. ALL PEOPLE.. even nice ones. I know karma will get me in the future but for now, i don't care.
wow. it sounds like we had exactly the same job, only mine was at irvine. irvine freshmen, sd freshmen... essentially the same thing, with the same parents.
Yah Melon, I know. I once thought it would be good idea to work with just dogs. But then I realized, dogs usually have some kind of human being working with them... maybe in a fantasy world of some kind... sigh.
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